I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
