No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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