I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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