Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
