Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
