It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
