There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize