He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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