If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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