ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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