i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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