haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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