I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ladies don't puke and tell
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
