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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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