his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
