yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
