your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ttyl tear gas
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
