so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
