Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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