either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize