Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize