tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
