Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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