I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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