"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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