Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
