well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
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My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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