Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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