I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
