My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
