Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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