First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
