..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
