i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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