SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
