Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
