It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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