Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
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The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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