You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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