Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize