So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
