Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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