my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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