I hate your face
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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