I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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