no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
