Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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