she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
