I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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