Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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