thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
