Please, let me fuck your mom
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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