I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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