You smell like stripper and shame
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
