her vagine was all disorganized.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
