ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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