all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
