if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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