Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
